Determining Weaknesses

Psalm 139:23-24

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Sometimes, I just can’t figure out what is wrong with me. Now, I’m sure if I said that around my two teenage children, they would have plenty of suggestions for me, so maybe I should be more specific. As a runner who has dealt with lower back issues, I sometimes have nagging pain, even if I am maintaining a healthy exercise regimen. Sometimes what has worked for weeks or months just stops working, and the pain returns. And I just can’t figure out why.

Recently I talked to a personal trainer about this issue. I was surprised to learn, through a series of simple tests, that I had some major areas of weakness in my legs. I had always assumed my legs were as strong as they could be. After all, I am a distance runner and my legs are full of visible muscles. But though I looked strong, I found out I had some key areas of weakness.

The trainer explained to me that my weaknesses were affecting my mechanics. This imbalance was putting a strain on my back. So how did I feel when the trainer told me I was weak? Honestly, I was thrilled. I had a diagnosis and a series of exercises to correct the problem. And the exercises would not only take away my pain but allow me to be a stronger runner. It was a great learning experience.

All of this made me think about Psalm 139. In it, David asks God to search his heart and to test him. He asks God to look for anything offensive within him and to lead him away from it. I’m often reluctant to pray those words. I’m afraid that God will reveal something to me that I need to give up or ask me to make a change I do not want to make. But then I think how great it was to find the source of my back pain. Finding out and solving a spiritual weakness is even better.

But in Psalm 139, David doesn’t just ask for testing. He begins by contemplating the depth and intimacy of God’s love and understanding. He realizes that God knows every detail of his body and every thought that crosses his mind. He remarks that God knows his thoughts before David even thinks them. He praises God that there is nowhere in all of God’s creation that he can go that would be apart from God. And then he asks to be tested.

I was amazed at the personal trainer’s expertise regarding the human body and his ability to provide me a solution. How much more should I be amazed at God’s knowledge of me and my heart, my being and all my ways. How much more should I be willing to be lead by him in all things and at all times?

Heavenly Father, You created me. You had plans for me before I even existed. Even now, when I am busy doing my thing and forgetting about You, You are with me and know me. Father, show me who You would have me become. Reveal to me Your plans for me and show me where I do not follow You. Encourage me to leave behind anything that separates me from You, and lead me in the way everlasting. In Jesus’ strong name I pray…AMEN.